


It breaks your heart (It wasn't supposed to end like this)

by Mariposa_Moon



Series: Have you ever loved like this? [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Feelings, Feels, Friendship, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Scott, Hurt Scott McCall, I'm Sorry, M/M, No Sex, No Slash, No Smut, Non-mutual, POV Scott, POV Scott McCall, Queer Character, Ruined Friendship, Scott is sad and heartbroken, Scott-Centric, Stiles don't love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8678020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariposa_Moon/pseuds/Mariposa_Moon
Summary: Scott has been pining over Stiles for a while now. However, when Stiles finds out, things don't go well for them.Saudade:  A deep, nostalgic and melancholic longing for something or someone, often accompanied wth a denied fact that what one longs for will never come back.





	

_(It breaks your heart)_

_When people you know, become people you knew_

_When you walk right past someone as if they_

_Were never a huge part of your life._

There are some things Scott never questioned in his life. One, his mom was awesome and he would do anything for her. Two, Lacrosse was the best sport in the world. And three, Stiles.

 

Well, more like his presence. His constancy- Scott wasn’t really sure. But he knew he never had to think twice about whether or not Stiles would be there for him. And he knew (He _knew_ ) that Stiles was aware that he’d never abandon him, either.

 

It was just this common ground between them. That they were never alone, not truly. Not when they had each other and smiled at each other like happiness was their private joke.

 

It was home, safe.

 

And so, Scott McCall started to fall for Stiles Stilinski, for the safety he represented, for the anchor he became. He fell slow, without hurry, just like old lovers do, time and time again.

 

He wondered if maybe that’s because he didn’t just “started” to love him. Maybe he just always did, and falling was too exciting to let go off. Maybe every time Stiles took his hand, or hugged him tight, or teased him with sarcasm, made him remember just why exactly falling for him was so good.

 

Like a honeymoon, over, and over, and over.

 

One day, he knew, he would have to tell Stiles. Because friends are not supposed to love like this. Scott is not supposed to look at his smile and compare it with the sun that lights up his day.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

 

_You used to be able to talk for hours on the phone_

_Now you can’t even look each other in the eyes_

 

That phase didn’t really last. Scott started questioning everything because the one thing he thought wouldn't happen, happened. And it was all his fault.

 

He had gone too far, pushed too hard, kissed with too much intent. Maybe he had gazed with too much love in his eyes, maybe Stiles had seen his mouth opening softly in the middle of the night as he murmured how much he loved him and pressed kisses to his knuckles and his palms as if he were holy. Maybe if he hadn’t been so open, stopped being so oblivious, maybe if hadn’t been so proud of his love-

 

It didn’t matter. Scott wore his heart on his sleeve, not even heartbreak can change that. Nothing would have prevented what happened.

 

He remembers exactly how it happened, mostly because he had spent weeks thinking about it.

 

It had been the day after finals. Stiles had decided to come over, well, more like he just he came over. He didn’t really _decide_ on doing so, it just happened: He always spent the day after finals in Scott’s house, because his dad wasn’t home and his mom was at work and they could have the house to themselves and put some crappy old movies while they reveled on getting a break from school. The day after finals was sacred.

 

This year, however, there was a certain tension in his position. Scott first assumption was that it had to do with the fact that they were leaving, he and his dad. Just after his father had been fired they had offered a job opportunity on the other side of the country, and so there wasn’t really any other options for them but to move.

 

 Stiles seemed closed off about it, though, and so Scott guessed it was one of those things he would have to wait for Stiles to talk about. It worked like that, sometimes. Because even though Stiles was usually a ball of excitement about anything and everything that happened to him, there were things that got to him that he needed time to process before talking about them.

 

Scott tried to help like he always did. Physical affection was a big comfort for the boy, and so he pressed a little bit closer than friends would have had, maybe, or maybe he didn’t (He didn’t know. The only best friend Scott has ever been this close with was Stiles, and the only crush that he’s ever gotten to be around this long was, not surprisingly, Stiles. Sometimes those lines got blurred for him).

 

Stiles still seemed fine with it even if he still stayed tense for the whole movie, and not only that, he stayed silent too, even when Scott tried to joke around and mimic the characters voice just to spark a little smirk from him. The tanned boy was a bit worried. Not even school or social stress had managed to shut Stiles’ mouth when it came to making sarcastic comments about crappy movies.

 

He decided maybe he should press a little if it was this bad.

 

“Stiles…”

 

“Scott…”

 

They looked at each other with surprise, and then Scott opened his mouth to try again.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“We need to talk…”

 

 In any other circumstances, they would have laughed. Stiles would probably call _“Jinx, you owe me a soda!”_ and Scoot would feign annoyance, but he would feel his heart beat wildly when he saw Stile’s smile at the prospect of the free beverage, which is why he always got him one- lime flavour, of course, it was his favorite.

 

 Such a simple thing, creating such an enormous reaction (Was he referring to Stile’s reaction to free soda or to his own at Stiles’ smile? He wasn’t sure). But they didn’t laugh this time, because while Scott’s tone was full of worry and comprehension, Stiles’ was laced with caution. It was something serious.

 

So Scott swallowed his comments and nodded at him to continue. Stiles bit his lip, unsure of what to say, and Scott stared at them a bit too long, wondering how soft they would feel against his own and just how exciting it would be to make Stiles’ grip loosen up by a moan-

 

He stopped biting his lip when he realized Scott was staring, and in exchange, Scott set his eyes straight at his as the embarrassment of being caught made him turn a few shades redder, though it was barely noticeable.

 

“Look, Scott. You’re my best friend. There is no one more in this world that I trust than you, please tell me you know that?” Scott nodded, eyebrows borrowing with confusion. Stiles let out a relieved sigh. “However, I’ve noticed your behavior, and I know I shouldn’t assume, but there a few rumors going around that you know I never pay any mind to, but they made some pretty good convincing points and-“

 

“Stiles.” He interrupted. Stiles looked at him with wide eyes, as if he’s waiting for Scott to guide him. “Breathe.”

 

He huffed but did as he was told.

 

“So…” Scott sighed. He didn’t notice, but his fingers were tracing circular patterns on the couch, just like would do with Stiles’ hand when he was nervous or when Scott needed some comfort of his own. “You know, about… You know.” The embarrassment he felt almost made him burst, or at the very least blush intensively.

 

“Yeah.” Fear gripped his heart as Stiles’ tone turned cautious again, as if he was trying to get through this conversation whilst hurting Scott the least he could.

 

“And do you…?” Stiles looked at him, soft brown eyes always full of brightness now dull and sad. It was a horrible sight, especially when Scott knew it was because of him. Stiles gripped his shoulders as if to ground them both, but it felt like he was choking.

 

“Scott.” He breathed out. “I’m leaving in a few days. There’s no point-” But Scott’s eyes were pleading, needing to know the truth. “Please don’t do this.”

 

“What do you mean? You were the one who started talking about it!” Scott snapped a bit, his heart beating fast with worry. Stiles shook his head as if to say he regretted it. “And now we’re having _that_ conversation, so I just want to know if I…” He took Stiles’ hand on this own. “If we…” Stiles snatched his hand away, and it broke Scott’s heart a little.

 

“No, Scott.” Stiles’ eyes drifted from his, unable to look at him as the next words to leave his lips bore into the rest of Scott’s heart and broke it into a million pieces. “I love you. I’m just not in love with you.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_It breaks your heart to know things change_

_And there is nothing that you can do_

 

They had tried to make it work. They really did. They kept walking each other to classes and sitting together at lunch.  Stiles tried to still be his bitter, sarcastic self while Scott was the always supportive one. That was what hurt the most, they had _tried._

 

And yet, after almost 10 years of friendship, they let Scott’s love tear everything to pieces.

 

Because he just had to have his cake and eat it, too. Didn’t he?

 

They still sat together and talked about everything, but it wasn’t the same. Now, Stiles every move towards him was calculated, careful to show his love but not lead Scott on. Now, everything was questionable and at stake. Would it be too far if he bumped their shoulders together? If they sat too close? What if his hand accidentally landed n Scott’s when he tried to steal some popcorn?

 

It was too much to bear.

 

Scott didn’t blame him for leaving. Not when they were like this and his father had lost his job. They would have had to move anyway, to the other side of the country. Scott expected Stiles to go, of course. In a perfect world, he could have stayed, but the world wasn’t perfect and their relationship was broken.

 

The first week went by and there are no phone calls. Scott didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t call first, he knew that at least. It had to be Stiles choice to contact him. And yet, as more time passes, the need to know from his best friend was making him want to scream or take his hair out.

 

He broke two weeks after Stiles left. He had tried calling him, but Stiles didn’t answer.

 

“Stiles?” His name tasted bittersweet on his lips. The reminder of the good memories he had of his best friend versus the bad ones with his former crush on him. “Look, Uh. I wanted to give you space- to settle in and all that. I know it’s hard to move, but I just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk about anything, I’m still here for you.” Scott panicked a little. Maybe he had gone too far, maybe he had implied Stiles had no one else to talk to. “Everybody’s been asking for you, you know?” What if it was a bad thing to say that, make Stiles miss all the people he couldn’t be with right now? “Just, I’m sorry. Forget it.”

 

He tried to convince himself that it was better like this. Stiles couldn’t love him the way Scott did, and Scott wasn’t sure if he could just keep the platonic façade up. It was for the best.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

_So let’s ignore each other_

_Try to pretend the other person doesn’t exists_

 

He didn’t call again. Stiles didn’t call, either, but it had been a long time since Scott had expected him to.

 

To everyone else, the change was barely noticeable. Scott and Stiles were never ones to be the center of attention (In Past tense, never present. Or future, apparently), they were always near the edges, as far away from everyone as possible. But they weren’t alone because they were together, and somehow, that was enough.

 

But that had changed, obviously. It wasn’t Scott and Stiles anymore. Just Stiles. Or Scott. Never the two of them together.

 

Scott kept going to school like usual; keeping his grades up even better than before Stiles left. He kept working for Deaton, taking as many shifts as he physically could. It’s obvious he was just trying to buy time, to distract himself. Because it was when he was alone that the memories would come crashing down, leaving him breathless.

 

 And anyone who actually cared about him noticed that the spark in his eyes was gone, or that his smiles were never truly sincere, they didn’t say anything.

 

It was better like this.

 

Once, he drank the night away, leaving embarrassing text messages and voice mails he begged Stiles not to listen to and shouting on rooftops his love for the boy. It didn’t fill the hole in his heart, as it was Stiles' shaped. Heck, it barely made him forget. The only thing left for him for that night was waking up in a stranger’s bed smelling like McDonalds’ leftovers, alcohol and puke and the feeling of self-pity, but he had gotten better after that. It was almost as if he had to hit rock bottom to climb back up.

 

He started healing, slowly but surely. Started to take care of himself by going to bed early and actually eating meals when he was supposed to. He moved to the heart of the city to study medicine at a decent college and volunteered as a nurse for a hospital nearby. He worked as a cashier meanwhile, but the future held great things for him that he was sure he was going to face head on.

 

He got a new motorcycle that he named Junior, a wonderful boyfriend that he wouldn’t change for life, and new friends who cared about him.

 

Yet, sometimes, in the middle of the night. When it was quiet and he wasn’t occupied by the movement of the day, he wondered if things could have gone a little different.

 

_But we both know_

_It wasn’t supposed to end like this_

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHHHHGGGGG  
> Alright, now my frustration's out.  
> You see, I wanted to have this piece ready for Sciles day, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I was stuck, plus real life was being a pain in the ass (Seriously I need this Christmas break like a thirsty man in the desert needs water). I am sick of all that, fuck real life and responsibilities.  
> Anyway, back to this: I honestly have no idea how to continue with this story. I'm planning on doing a series, honestly, but I didn't really want all the works from the same series lumped into my dashboard, you know? I wanted to write multiple chapters, but the stories are too different from each other and will probably have nothing in common except the fact that they'll be about Sciles, so I guess this is the best-organized option.  
> I was so thirsty for Sciles when I saw 6X01. "Scott, I-" YOU LOVE HIM DONT CHA? And just when he bout to confess they make him disappear. Smh damn you writers.  
> Imma go write some more, I can't promise it'll be up by next week but I'll try my best.


End file.
